Ever wondered where the “tag” came from?

Long before Facebook introduced the tag application we earthlings practiced it on earth. I think tagging people comes naturally to human beings. We tag people by the clothes they wear, places they visit, friends they keep; the way they appear – the list is endless. For example, long back I was questioned by a senior at work, “You girls need to know the market where we sell. How will you know all of this if you travel in AC cars?” Tagged - Upmarket chick, with no knowledge of local Delhi markets. The mall type.

As usual I lost my cool, how can anyone tag me and my past experiences because of my present. The gentleman had no idea that in the initial days of my career I had travelled by locals in Mumbai and the dreaded public buses in Delhi. And market understanding needs market visits and not “feeling up sessions” in Delhi buses.

I faced a similar situation again. I was chatting with someone on the potential of the smaller cities of India, when suddenly the woman looked up and said, “But what would you know about smaller cities of India? Look at you all dressed up in trousers and nails manicured!” Tagged - Typical Delhite, born and bought up in a metro and has never been out of here.

I stopped short of slapping the woman, lest I be thrown out of my job for violence at workplace. Somehow I managed to shift my focus from physical violence and ways I could torture the preposterous woman sitting in front me and asked her, “And what makes you think I wouldn’t know of the smaller cities of India?” Pat she replied, “Well you look born and bought up in Delhi (see I was right). Again I detangled myself from the thought of pulling her hair apart and said, “Why would you say so?” The lady said, “Well you wear trousers, paint your nails and speak English?” Oh’ how myopic people are! Here my humor quotient came into play and I asked her, “Why don’t you tell me about which towns you are talking about, let’s see if I know of them or not?” She shot, “Darbhanga, Ichapuram, Berhampur, Rajamundhry, Rajpura and Sompeta are some of our focus towns and am sure you should be able to figure out our focus states now"(laced with deadly sarcasm). I couldn’t help but smile gleefully at that point and tell her, “When they told us in school don’t judge a book by its cover they were very right. And to her confused face, I replied, “You focus is clearly Bihar (Darbhanga), Orissa (Ichapuram, Berhampur) Punjab (Rajpura) and Andhra (Rajamundhry & Sompeta).” She was shell-shocked and I had my pound of flesh…obviously without a drop of blood in the vicinity.

I would say she was slightly unlucky because of the towns she chose, because I was born in Bihar, belong to Orissa, have lived near Punjab and on our yearly travels to Orissa passed Andhra and its cities some zillion times :). Had she named some towns from Chhattisgarh or Himachal Pradesh she would have definitely proved her point of “well dressed” people not knowing small towns of India.

Anyhow, the whole point of this post was definitely not to tom-tom my geographical knowledge of India (which is pretty good and am proud of that) but just to say how easily people tag us (and we tag people). Just take a look at the list:
- Women who smoke and drink are easily available (ugghhhh)
- Women who choose to keep their maiden names after marriage don’t love their husbands
- Men who go to beauty salon are vain
- Men who listen to their wives are hen-pecked (and those who don’t are brutes)!
- Mothers who work and leave their babies behind are ruining their childhood
- Parents of the girl who stay with her for too long after her marriage are inviting trouble (this one is the worst)!

We often tend to typecast people, classify them, put them in boxes and store them in our mind with a tag. And that’s where the tag originated….in the human mind eons back!

Overdose of Bollywood

From rigging awards at popular award functions, Bollywood has now moved on to rigging national awards (only that can explain Arjun Rampal getting an National award), Padma awards (Saif Ali Khan for what, brand Saifeena) and now messing up the legendary song “Mile sur mera tumahara.”

The original “Mile sur” was close to our hearts not only because it represented “unity in diversity” but also because it came in an era which was untouched by today’s crass commercialization and immodest branding. It came at a time when 24-hour television wasn’t in vogue and the icons who were shown in the song were real heroes and not just actors. The music and lyrics had a soul and depth to it. The original version did have a chunk of Bollywood representation but these were established actors like Waheeda Rehman, Hema Malini & Sharmila Tagore not starlets like Deepika Padukone & Shilpa Shetty.

Last morning after a deluge of status messages on FB about the re-launch of the 80’s song I tuned in to youtube, only to realize that the makers had totally killed the spirit, beauty and soul of the original “Mile sur mera tumahar.” The old song was representative of India and covered iconic figures from across the nation and across various fields like sports, music and culture. The current one seems like one big mega Bollywood production. What else can explain Karan Johar, Deepika Padukone and Shilpa Shetty’s presence?

And what was Shilpa Shetty doing representing Rajasthan, is her association to Rajasthan Royals the excuse? The Bachchan family was in full attendance as well, wonder why Jaya Bachchan & Amar Singh were left behind?

Shah Rukh did a “Rahul naam to suna hoga” and though Salman’s piece with the kids was commendable he was shirtless again. Clearly, the stars in the new video were more important than the message itself. Only this can explain individual shots of Shahid Kapur, Ranbir Kapoor, Karan Johar and the 3 khans.

The worst is how sportsmen who deserve more accolades than any Bollywood actor were relegated to the end and obscurity. What explains the absence of Sachin Tendulkar, who in my mind is the biggest unifying factor of India, bigger than the senior Bachchan. Are actors the only achievers, what happened to the industrialists, scientists, engineers, what happened to Metro man Sreedharan?

And if one were to leave the overdose of Bollywood behind and talk about the song in the new version, there is nothing much to say there either. There can be no excuse for slaughtering a song which had enthralled an entire nation and attained an anthem like recognition. The new version is frivolous, soulless and completely messed up! It is a sign of our times where only glamour sells or so the makers and Bollywood believe.

It's simple logic

Okay there is no reason to be absconding for so long from my own blog, but, I do have a genuine reason here. The laptop am currently using has a few keys missing and I have been typing weird things for example while chatting up a friend instead of asking her about the “party at her house” I asked her about the “panty hose.” It sounds funny but believe me it wasn't. It was reddening’ly embarrassing. So finally today after things were semi-fixed (not completely) I ventured to write again.

A lot has happened in the world since I last wrote, from Ruchika Girhotra’s case to Chetan Bhagat crying, to the fog bringing down the capital’s state-of-art international airport and its machinery. The last one convinced me that the CWG is going to be a disaster next year.

So leaving all the controversial and sensational topics, I shall move swiftly to something that is very close to my heart – my profession, public relations. Lately, in the last few months, more than a few times people have told me “arre tum PR walein kya kartein ho (what do you PR people do). It’s easy money for you people.” To say it irks me, irritates and makes my blood boil is an understatement. How can one comment on someone else’s profession, when you don’t even understand (or try to understand) about the profession. This particular, person in conversation constantly laughs at his in-house PR person saying that all the person does is send clips (newspaper coverage’s)! And this of course upsets me, unfortunate, but true. I get upset and wild because 1. This person knows nothing about the profession 2. If the person is smart enough to just send a mail and earn his living, then he is smart (smarter than jealous commenter) 3. This person sometime back was bragging about his company brand name. He wouldn’t be standing in front of me bragging about the big brand name if years back some PR person hadn’t worked on the brand, reputation and image and years later someone had not maintained it 4. Lastly the person forgot he could be in a function which could be rendered equally useless by me, because I don’t understand how it works.

I have had horrid absolutely wall banging experiences with people across functions. Let’s take HR & Finance as exhibits.
Exhibit 1, HR – I was once contacted by a so called in-house HR who had no clue about the following:
- What her company did?
- What the position was and what was the kind of remuneration?
- What was the level of the person I was supposed to meet?
- The direction to her office :)

This experience could have easily made me wonder what HR people do. They are supposed to hire people and if they can’t provide basic information about their very own company what is the use?

HR 2 - In another experience an HR consultant once told me you since “PR is such an advertising led job.” Uh! When did that happen, dude? Last I knew advertising and public relations were not only different but also at loggerheads. You need to know what you are pitching!!!!

Exhibit 2, Finance – When a company deducts tax for new employees they are supposed to take into consideration the previous earnings (this information is usually captured in the employee introduction form). But surprisingly not once, but twice it has happened with me that in spite of furnishing all the details the finance has forgotten to take this into consideration, which forced me to pay tax in bulk at the end of the financial year. If finance, can’t handle something so basic, what are they doing? What are they getting paid for?

My exhibits are very basic, that’s because my knowledge of these functions is basic. In which case, I shouldn’t be commenting on them. In which case, neither should those people, who have no idea what public relations is all about and what the job entails.

It’s simple logic, but, needs a little bit of understanding, common sense and intelligence :)

Shyness pangs & Starry-eyed nut

I have been absconding for sometime now for no specific reason and a lot of it as well.
Post Diwali I went through a very difficult decision making period and finally having made the decision, took time off to relax. The process had undoubtedly been stressful.

The decision was to join a new workplace and though the change would only augment my career, departures are always painful. And I have this uncanny knack of getting attached to people, places and companies.

Joining a new place is always a mixed affair, you feel awkward, out of place and insignificant (at least I do). While the rest of the day passes by, it is the lunch time which is particularly perturbing. Walking into a lunch room full of people chatting, joking, sitting in groups, a newcomer feels targeted. One feels conscious of every move, clothes, hair, how does one eat etc etc. Incidentally, all this is just in the mind, because the other employees are not sitting there to laugh at you, they are just enjoying a break :)

But in spite of all the sense I have, I went through this on my 1st day at my new organization. As I walked into the vast cafeteria brimming with people I felt as if everyone was looking at me (as if people had nothing better to do). I nimbly walked towards the buffet, hoping and wishing that I could disappear into the yellow dal or the paneer could swallow me. Unfortunately , nothing of that sort happened and I filled my plate up and walked towards a table and grabbed a seat.

Cautiously looked from under my eyebrows to see if anyone was watching me…clearly NO. But the awareness didn’t dawn then and I kept burrowing into my plate as if it was the only refuge left in the whole world. Funnily, I never made a shy bride, so this sudden attack of shyness on my 1st day was quite uncalled for. But then that’s me, unpredictable.

Anyhow, suddenly in between trying to manage my shyness and attacking my food I saw a young girl sitting and eating by herself, and my confidence came creeping back. If she could why could I not, then, I saw another gentleman reading the paper and eating by himself, and suddenly the cafeteria seemed to be full of people who were by themselves. I squared by shoulders and stopped trying to disappear into the plate and finished the rest of my meal in peace :)

Today (my 3rd day) was a different story, since I joined a few team mates for lunch. But yes, the most difficult bit about a new workplace is having lunch alone :)

AJ in a "Question Bank" mode

Around four days back AJ pulled a muscle in his neck. The pull was quite a terrible one; he couldn’t move his neck and was in immense pain. This had happened to him last winter as well, exactly around this time. This time around, however, the pain was quite insufferable and he refused to go to the doctor, until yesterday when the pain started to affect his shoulder and left hand (ya it was that bad).

I rushed from work to his office and out comes AJ with a print out with the details of an unknown doctor who practices alternative therapies. Now I really don’t have a problem with alternative therapies, but I’d prefer going to a specialist who has been recommended by someone. To this argument AJ said, “Well this is like asking LG who used your 1st television.” Anyhow, finally after a lot of arguments about the doctor’s credentials AJ agreed to go to a well-known hospital.

Not too happy with the change of events, AJ entered the doctor’s room and unleashed a barrage of questions (had I been the doctor I would have thrown the man out). As soon as AJ finished telling the doctor of his symptoms, the doctor started to write something in the pad and bang came AJ “Are you giving me antibiotics?” The doctor looked up surprised and said “no, why would I give you antibiotics for muscle pain?” Unnerved AJ threw another question at him, “Are you sure this is muscle pain?” The doctor visibly irritated by now said, “No am not sure but your symptoms indicate that its muscle pain. But if you want I can ask you to get an x-ray done.” To this AJ answered, “No I don’t think it is anything to do with the bones, hence no need for an x-ray, must be muscular.” The doctor gave him an exasperated look and continued to write something as AJ (in true form) threw another question, “You think physiotherapy will help, I don’t want any painkillers, okay.” The questions continued and to the doctor’s credit he didn’t throw us out.

So the doctor prescribed him physiotherapy but we could take it only the day after since they were fully booked. Hence, I decided to go another hospital since the pain had clearly reached AJs brain! Now, by this time AJ was at his agitated best and refused to go anywhere else and I had to literally force him.

All through the journey questions and complaints flew left, right & centre, “Why are there no lights near the hospital, that’s the least they can do“ “What a huge hospital, they will fleece us am telling you, all these big hospitals focus only on sales target” “I really don’t need physiotherapy” “ My god why have people parked outside the hospital, only to save the 20 bucks which they will have to pay inside” “ Look at the parking its full, we will never get a place.”

The physio got over in 30 minutes and when we got into the car to go home AJ said, "the doc asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10 can you believe it, how can anyone rate pain? I told the doctor as much, what a nonsensical question?” Only if he had realized how many such nonsensical questions he had asked everyone around him in 2 hours! Clearly he was being a pain in everyone’s neck because of the pain in his neck :)

I am sure in some way body pain affects the brains! It must, what else could explain such irrational behavior coming from an otherwise sensible, patient, intelligent & mild-mannered AJ!

Anyhow by morning the pain reduced and AJ was out of the “Question Bank” mode, back to his normal lovable persona :) Phew!!

The web of life

For a change Payal woke up before the alarm. There was a spring in her step as she got dressed. Her very first day at her very first job!

As she got into her beige trouser and maroon shirt a twinge of guilt at the money her parents had spent on it hit her. Her dad was already waiting for her when she went in for breakfast. This was her moment of pride, having breakfast with her father and leaving for work with him. It was delicious, this moment of achievement.

As the green line bus traversed the dusty roads of Noida, Payal’s excitement grew. Dad wanted her to be independent and it was a joint decision that she would travel by bus. She didn’t mind the journey; she was carrying a book along to pass her time. The heat was a killer as it is in May and by the time she reached her workplace she was drenched in sweat. Thank god for deos, thought Payal!

A deep breathe in and she plunged into her new office, which was in a residential complex, a normal occurrence with PR agencies in Delhi. Proudly she marched in; it was no small feat to join as an account executive in a leading PR agency.

She waited in the reception with a sense of trepidation as Sunanda walked in. Sunanda, with her hair pulled back into a bun, no nonsense attitude, cold stare and cryptic voice looked scary. Hi, I am your boss and you will be working on D & Z client said Sunanda as she shook hands. She led Payal to a workstation and told her that since infrastructure wasn’t the best they’d have to share the computer. Payal was still staggering behind a bit bewildered at how fast things were moving. As Payal’s spirit kept ebbing Sunanda kept talking.

The first 8 hours of her work life left Payal bewildered. There had not even been a proper induction. The client coverage docket had been dumped on her; Sunanda spent 20 minutes on each and briskly explained their business. And then she asked Payal to fax a release to the 35 names in the media list (a list with journalist numbers & details). The drudgery unknown to Payal had begun.

6 months later
Payal’s slim frame was hunched over the tracking table (a common term used for the place where newspapers are tracked for client news). It was 7:00 am in the morning and Payal just couldn’t concentrate, she had changed 3 rickshaws to reach work as buses didn’t ply till 8:00 am, had missed breakfast and her back was killing her because of long hours in front of the computer. But she couldn’t afford to delay. Sunanda, her devilish boss would be in anytime and if the news summary (a consolidation of client news) wasn’t ready she would be yelled at, yet again. Last evening she had thrown a press kit at her face because the kit was looking dirty! Now how could that be her fault, it was the client’s mistake, clearly the kit had been stored too long in their godown and nothing could restore it….

Sunanda stormed in at 8:30 am and yelled saying how come we are not in the story on consumer electronic companies’ focusing on Sri Lanka. Payal quivered and shifted from one foot to another. She tried explaining that client had not been available to make a comment, but Sunanda never listened. The office boys were looking at her with pity. Payal broke down that day and her confidence was in tatters. She was dreading going to the desk and computer she shared with Sunanda, but it couldn’t be avoided. As she reached her desk she saw 500 clips (coverage in newspapers) and Sunanda crisply told her, that the clips needed to compiled into a PR docket (advertising equivalent calculated, clips cut, pasted and bound) by tomorrow morning 9:00 am. Payal stammered as she said Sunanda I already have 2 dockets to make, why don’t we get the clippings team (a separate tracking team) to do half of it. Sunanda quietly said, I have done this for 5 years as well, and it’s doable. I want the docket tomorrow morning.

The bus journey back home was traumatic. The hot August air did nothing to ease out her stress and tension. Nothing in her college days had prepared her for this. Whatever happened to public relations strategy, campaigns, brand management plans, positioning statements, media management policy creations? All those pages full of assignments, crisis management, positioning recommendations sounded like a dream, a lie, a waste. All she did was cut clips, fax releases, send email blasts, go on media rounds to hand over press releases and follow up with uninterested and rude journalists. That night Payal made up her mind, she had to leave. Drudgery at work could be acceptable but constant humiliation was not.

7 years later
Avni walked into her new organization, her first job, Payal came out to receive her. As they walked in, Payal handed Avni a docket, her induction docket and told Avni that though they would work together, Avni’s “buddy” through her induction period of 3 months would be another colleague. Only after spending 3 months in an in-house training program would Avni be introduced to actual work. Avni loved her workplace and by the end of 3 months was eager to jump into work.

It was a windy January morning and Avni and Payal were headed towards a client meeting. Avni had been in the organization for 6 months now and loved working with Payal. Payal was a dream team lead, patient, knowledgeable, supportive and stern when required. That morning Payal was particularly chatty and as they got talking Avni mentioned that her elder sister had been in PR as well and had worked for X PR agency. Payal curiously asked her, what’s your sister’s name? Sunanda, replied the cheerful Avni.

Payal stared at Avni and then burst out laughing. Oblivious to Payal & Sunanda’s association and bitter parting, Avni joined Payal’s laughter. Their playful banter continued till they reached their destination.

Payal never let Avni know of the dreadful time Sunanda had given her. And Avni was awarded the best employee that year.

The death of a PR professional?

A refresher on the characters:
• Nutty – Client/company/organization
• Legging – Journalist/Media
• Starry-eyed nut – Me/PR professionals

Sometime back I got a call from a Nutty saying, “I have some information ready can you please block some space in the XYZ publication.” For a second my jaw dropped and then I recovered from the hit and told her, “Well I don’t think I can “block” (I’d have to be the owner of the publication for that) space but why don’t you send me the information I will take a look and see what can be done with it.” I got an incredulous exclamation from the other end and a retort, “Have a look? Are you serious? You know I am a subject matter expert and I don’t think anyone needs to look at what I write.” I was loosing it by this time, but, somehow managed to tell her that it needs to pass me even if she is a Nobel prize winner on that subject.

This exchange of conversation made me wonder how little some people respect PR professionals. Is it something to do with us and our constant bloopers? Could be that, and could also be the fact sometimes we act only to see that XYZ cc news clipping. And it is this XYZ cc clipping that matters to Nutty at the end of day. And since most Starry eyed nuts like me work in factories and on 3-4 Nutty’s simultaneously we loose track of sensibility and just become press release carriers and commit blunders which make us seem like dim-wits and mark the death of PR:

- I once called a Legging and went on and on without even letting the other end speak. Since I had 3 press releases to issue, I was in a mega hurry and could not even comprehend the uncanny silence. It was only when impudent me stopped that I was informed that Legging had passed away! That minute I wished I could melt and flow away.

- Bitching about Nutty with Legging: So you have had the misfortune of having a very rude and insensitive Nutty, but that is no reason to bad mouth him. It is in very bad taste.

- Calling up Leggings and asking “Did you get the press release?” No it got stuck in the jam outside ITO you want to escort it back in!!!

- Calling up leggings and saying, “My Company VP is in town, can I fix an interview?” Errr on what? Taliban and Pakistan?

- Cut copy paste: Am not saying don’t do it, but if you do it, be good at it. A Starry eyed nut was assigned to mass mail (a regular professional hazard). Starry eyed nut of course did not check the content and blindly kept sending the mails only to realize (after having sent it to half a dozen Leggings) that he hadn’t changed the names. In this day and age, outlook has made our lives much easier by introducing Bcc, no?

- A Nutty once insisted that we should give “exclusives” to 2 publications. Clearly, Nutty hadn’t attended his English classes because when you use the term “exclusive” it means for one party only. And fortunately or unfortunately for us, news is on public domain and can’t be hidden if you have promised exclusives to 2 Leggings, either under pressure from Nutty or from your own folly. By the way, this Starry eyed nut scared of Nutty, did give 2 exclusives, not to mention that his firm got banned for 2 years by that publication.

- Calling Leggings at 6:00 pm (until unless its earth shattering). All Starry eyed nuts are coached and trained that this time is the filing time. But we do it again and again (I have done this myself till 2 years back).

- Pitching industry trends to Leggings which suspiciously look like last years :)

- Promising Nutty the sky, based on assumptions. A starry eyed nut once promised a crazy Nutty CNBC in the following words, “Don’t worry sir, we will have CNBC, XYZ in CNBC is my best friend and we will get a 30 minute slot.” This came to bite back Starry eyed nut and bite was really hard.

Maybe it is this behavior which makes Nutties ask us to “block space” and marks the decapitation of a PR professional :(